You just can't bring yourself to go through the same stuff you've always done to fix this.

You used to be able to go on a diet, stick with it for 6 months, and when you fell off it, you'd just get back on, or try another diet or program.

Something inside you won't let you do that anymore. 

You can't bring yourself to go on another diet or weight loss plan. You just can't physically do it, even if you wanted to.

You can't bring yourself to sit through another Overeaters Anonymous meeting, when not a single person there lives the life you aspire for.

No matter how many times you explain it, your therapist still doesn't get it. Either they haven't lived the struggle themselves ... or they don't embody how you actually want to feel around food.

Nutritionists and dietitians have become irrelevant. They all say the same thing, or wildly conflicting things. Either way, you know you can't stick to it anyway, and that a new food plan doesn't touch the deeper issue.

You feel alone because you know even if you confide in the people who love you most, they can't help you the way you need to be helped.

You've been blaming yourself for lacking willpower, but your problem goes beyond that.

It's poisoned the most precious areas of your life.

When you're with your friends and family, only part of you is present, because the other part is thinking about food.

You sneak eat when people aren't around, while making healthy choices in their presence. 

You're hiding wrappers deep in the trash can, so no one will know what you ate after they went to bed. 

You're questioning your goodness, because the shame is causing you to hide the truth from the ones you love.

You're questioning your ability to help others, when you're struggling so deeply yourself. 

You feel out of integrity.

You know this isn't the real you, but you don't know how to get to the real you, with these food issues always in the way.

And now food is no longer just a food problem. 

It's taking over your energy, capacity, and life force. 

It's causing you to be dishonest to the people you cherish most. 

It's making you question your own capacity and sanity.

The truth:

This problem with food isn't about food.

It's about your relationship with YOU.

Your relationship with your own mind. Your own body. Your own needs and desires.

With all of the "solutions" you've tried over the years, you have unconsciously trained your mind and body to simultaneously fear and crave food with wild intensity. 

You've learned that nourishment equals danger.

That freedom equals chaos.

You've clung to structure and rules to keep yourself under control.

Then rebelled with binges, for freedom and relief. 

Feeling like a prisoner to your own mind, no matter what mode you're in.

This isn't just a food lesson. It's a life lesson.

And it won't go away til you learn it.

Two people can sit in front of the same cookie and have wildly different inner experiences.

One person might not think about it at all. They can take or it leave it. Enjoy it, or not.

Another person might feel compulsive to eat 20 more cookies.

Another person, whether they do or don't eat it, won't be able to stop thinking about it. 

The reason for the difference isn't the cookie.

It all stems from your inner world.

Your mind. 

Your body.

Your unmet needs and desires.

Your nervous system's muscle memory.

Your thoughts and behaviors.

Conscious and unconscious.

But what if all of this torment and chaos with food was actually a blessing in disguise?

What if the reason your relationship with food has gotten so loud because it's calling you to look at it differently than you have before?

What if resolving this pain and overcoming this problem is the key to unlocking the most powerful version of you?

I now look at my past eating disorder as a gift from God.

Not something that happened to me, but something that happened for me.

Had I not suffered so badly, I would not have found the healing that led to the most powerful, happy, healthy version of myself.

Here's what I know to be true:

Once you rebuild the relationships in your inner world ...

With your body. Your mind. Your heart. Your desires. Your cravings. Your needs. Your spirit.

You not only fix the food problem,

But now you have the fullest, most supportive partner you've ever had in your life ... YOU. 

And it's all a lot closer than you think.